Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013!

Here is a little recap of 2012... granted most of it is the negative, I did end on a positive note!

2012- one word- tough. But we made it. And overall it wasn’t really that bad, but at different times it was extremely tough and I questioned myself and God, a lot. I know I should never question God, but I did and I learned that He has a plan for me and my family and I just have to trust that His plan is the correct plan for me.


The first issue came in May—I have already blogged about the miscarriage that we went through at that point and I thought I would never get over it. I still haven’t gotten over it completely, but I have learned to cope. I still get depressed when I find out someone else I know is expecting, but I also have to realize that I had a successful first pregnancy, did not have any complications due to my diabetes, or any period, and my Janie Ann is healthy and beautiful. I just have to look at her and see how blessed we are whenever I get down and depressed.

The second issue came in October…I did not blog about this yet because it hurt so much—it still does but I have learned, again- His plan, not mine. But it was around October 20th—about 4 days after beginning our workout routine, I was extremely tired, fatigued, nauseated…something that normally does not occur with working out. So went to the store, bought a test and got a positive…. Yes, we were expecting again! Excited? Yes! Nervous—oh, boy YES! With the previous pregnancy it was tubal- therefore I had pain in my left side (which was sympathy pains because the tubal was on the right side). Anyways, I called and set up an appointment to see my doctor the following Thursday. Of course, I was panicked and very aware of any pains that my body had. Well, it was a Friday night and I started having pains in my left side. I stayed in bed all weekend and had an appointment with Dr. Marino on Monday to be checked out. They did a bed-side US and the only thing he saw was a cyst on my left ovary-- he thought it was approximately 2-4 MM, they did blood work and my HcG Level was around 250. So, I had an appointment to come back that following Wednesday- with the US tech and more lab work. The US tech noticed the cyst and said it was approximately the size of a grapefruit (9CM)- MUCH larger than earlier stated!! So, more blood work- levels increased to 340. They did not double as they should have, but they did rise. Let me say- this was the most difficult part. One nurse would tell me I was having a miscarriage, the next was very positive and it was just a slow start to pregnancy… this went on for 2 weeks. 2 weeks of pure torture. It was awful… miscarriage, pregnant, miscarriage, pregnant…. For 2 weeks. So anyways- Dr. Marino finally called me himself after my 3rd round of blood work and informed me that I was having another miscarriage. I was outside the AJHS cafe and I attempted to hold it together through the last 3 minutes of lunch. I got back to my classroom and lost it. Yes, I had students in there—who were all clueless, but it was the hardest and quietest that they have ever worked! So I went in to see him the following Tuesday (he called on a Friday) and because of the large cyst, he did not want it to burst because that would cause extreme pain, so we decided to go ahead and have surgery to get it removed. I was set up for surgery the following Tuesday (we are now in November), which is the day after Veteran’s day. Now- during all of this we celebrated Janie Ann’s 3rd birthday- I will have a blog dedicated just to her!  So, I was set up for surgery and went that morning- cried a few times because this was it. Along with removing the cyst he was going to do a DNC to make sure that everything was cleared out… maybe TMI?? Sorry! Anyways, got out of surgery and found out that there were actually 2 cyst- one on the tube and one on the ovary- both extremely large. They are both gone…hopefully for good! But needless to say, it will be an EXTREMELY long time before we attempt to get pregnant again, if ever. This is one of those times that I have to trust Him and not push what I want. Do I still have difficulty when people post on FB that they are pregnant? Yes. Have I cried? Yes. Do I get angry? Yes. Has Seth been extremely helpful and a good listener? Yes! Is he tired of my crying and being depressed at random times? I’m sure he is! Anyways- it’s now 2013 and we are moving forward—at times it will be extremely hard and I’m already preparing myself for the future “baby boom” of my friends and family (NO ONE IS CURRENTLY PREGNANT in my family, but I know it is coming). I still have not been able to attend Baby dedication at our church and it is something that I have been praying about, hard.

Anyways- the third thing is my grandfather getting sick and being in the hospital for about a week and then being placed in a 21-day rehab program at Chapman’s nursing home. Thankfully he did get better and is now back at home and doing great! :) So- one positive, right?!?!

The last thing that made 2012 extremely tough was on December 31, 2012; that morning Seth came and told me that my sweet Cadillac was no longer with us. :)Cadillac came into our family in the fall of 2004 as a sweet little puppy and he quickly took his spot in our family. He was 9 years old and we have no idea what happened to him. Janie Ann was a little sad at first, but because he was never an inside dog she only played with him when we went outside. She has requested that we get a dog inside…which I hope we can do later this year.

Along with the bad stuff- we had an overall great year! I know that it seems like all I have done is complain about how awful this year has been, but honestly we were able to celebrate many birthdays- my grandfather turned 91, Seth and I celebrated another year of marriage- 6 years, we both celebrated birthdays and Janie Ann has grown so much. She started her first year of preschool and she LOVES everything about it! She is still staying with Memaw 2 days a week and going to preschool 3. My dad is still able to take her every morning- which is a wonderful blessing for everyone! Seth and I started our 7th year of teaching, only 18 more years before retirement! :) I’m looking forward to 2013 and everything it has to offer! I’m going to start working out, taking more pictures and updating the blog more! I have enjoyed being able to go back and look at things from years past and I regret not posting more!!

Here’s to 2013!